HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Praise her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her,
consolation her, shield her, hug her, wine and dine her, purchase presents for her,
take heed to her, respect her, stand by her, assist her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive n*ked… with beer.