An previous man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza…
CALLER: Is that this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
CALLER: I will need to have dialled a improper quantity, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google purchased Pizza Hut final month.
CALLER: OK. I wish to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Would you like your typical, sir?
CALLER: My typical? Are you aware me?
GOOGLE: Based on our caller ID knowledge sheet, the final 12 instances you known as you ordered an extra-large pizza with three sorts of cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Tremendous! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: Could I recommend that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on an entire wheat gluten-free skinny crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t need a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your ldl cholesterol is just not good, sir.
CALLER: How are you aware that?
GOOGLE: Properly, we cross-referenced your house telephone quantity together with your medical information. Now we have the results of your blood exams for the final 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, however I don’t want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take remedy for my ldl cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, however you haven’t taken your remedy frequently. Based on our database, you bought solely a field of 30 ldl cholesterol tablets as soon as at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months in the past.
CALLER: I purchased extra from one other Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t present in your bank card assertion.
CALLER: I paid in money.
GOOGLE: However you didn’t withdraw sufficient money in response to your financial institution assertion.
CALLER: I’ve different sources of money.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t present in your newest tax returns except you purchased them utilizing an undeclared earnings supply, which is in opposition to the legislation!
CALLER: WHAT THE !!!
GOOGLE: I’m sorry sir, we use such info solely with the only intention of serving to you.
CALLER: Sufficient already! I’m sick to the dying of Google, Fb, Twitter, WhatsApp and all of the others. I’m going to an island with out the web, or TV, the place there isn’t any telephone service and nobody to observe me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I perceive sir, however you want to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks in the past…